Monday, September 7, 2009


It is late. The babies have been asleep for 2 hours. They will be awake in 4. I am wide awake. I want to sleep but my brain won't shut down. So here we go...

Disclaimer: Please don't stop asking just know where my head is in it all.

I am asked all the time, How are You? Of course I say OKAY. Would you like to know what that means in my head?
*so heavy hearted
*I can't breathe
*wishing I could give them back
*I hate my life
*I need a vacation
*I want him back
*I hate him

Truly I am okay. I promise I will let you know (well maybe I lied there) if I'm not. Better yet, just assume things are bad but know I will make it.


  1. Sunny, you are doing even more than okay. I say this because not only are you feeling so many conflicting thoughts and emotions, but you are able to identify them and own up to them. I don't have any advice for you, but I'll happily support you along your journey.

  2. I'm not in the exact same situation you are, but over the last year my marriage took a very different turn than what I had ever imagined. I had a brand new baby and I continue to feel a lot of the exact same emotions you put here. You are doing great! I'm sending much love to you are your sweet babies.

  3. Just wanted to write and say that I'll be here reading along and I am -so glad- that you decided to start a new blog. I hope this gives you a place to talk about your current situation, and to look forward.

  4. I love the blog name, I hate what that jerk has done to you.


    wishing I could hug you in person.

  5. I like your new space=) Always here to listen...

  6. I'll follow you wherever you go in the blog world.

  7. Yay!! I love this new blog and the fact that you are blogging again. Hope this is a safe place for you. Love you tons.

  8. I LOVE your new title. LOVE it!!!

    I love that you are blogging again.

    I think that you are perfect. :) I think your babies are so, so, so, so lucky to have you for their mama (I know I've said that before and I still think it.).

    I don't know if it makes a difference, but I really believe that what happened to you can happen to anyone. It could happen to me tomorrow. You are no more 'stupid or foolish or unwanted or unloved' than I am (or any other woman). We are all human and do human, hurtful, mean things (that's his part to own).

    I'm so proud of you and I think you are just wonderful!!!!

  9. Love the new space. A perfect beginning for you.

    Doubt and dismay are normal... all these things you're feeling are normal. As said above, you *are* perfect. And you are human.

    Do you read Snickollet's blog? I'm sure you do. I know her situation was vastly different, but I imagine some of the feeling and logistics might be similar.

    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. We'll all be reading along with you.

  10. My darling sunny, I love the new digs. Don't hesitate to ask for anything...seriously

  11. So proud of you for starting this blog. You are a beautiful and brave woman! I love ya.

  12. As a real life friend I have to say: you are SUPERWOMAN! You can do this, and when you can't we'll do it for you... Love you!

  13. Love the new blog name! Here and listening...

  14. What a lovely new blog name and heading. Supporting as always

  15. You are so awesome Sunny! I think this new blog is super. Always have ears to listen anytime!

  16. I echo Amber! Also, this blog name can be your novel title, too ;) Ha!

  17. I love you and I'm so proud of you!!

  18. Life is so much more complex than we realise, I think your list of feelings captures so well how we can feel such conflicting emotions all at one time. I am so sorry to read about your marriage. I wish you happier times in this new blog, and everyone says that little babies are one of the hardest stages to live through.